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Our governor, his Facebook soldiers and the rest of us (1)

Published

7 years ago

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By Ameh Comrade Godwin

I’ve come to realize that no matter how hard you try to correct the current governor of my state on the need to correct his failing leadership style, there are one hundred and one persons that would still make him believe that his performance is second to none in the country. 
 There is a group that is ready to give him a carved wood (in shape of a naked woman) as an award for the best performing governor in Nigeria. These are the people I call Facebook Soldiers (FBS).

These people would flood several groups and pages on Facebook telling the world what the governor has done (in his dream).
Dare to challenge them and they would descend on you with their bulalas.
Eneke the bird says: since men now shoot without missing, it would also fly without perching.
Since our dear governor has ‘temporarily’ relocated the Government House from ‘Mai kudi’ to Mark Zuckerberg Street, well-meaning natives of the state would use same platform to tell him that it was because of the rain that drenched the Mucuna pruriens (enumajaja) that made it a plaything for kids.
We will continue to echo this: our governor is being deceived by the paeans form his social media band boys. The praises from these chanters are deafening that he does not have time to listen to the voices of those crying in the desert saying: “Make our state better for us.”
He is not ready to welcome the counsel of the ‘old breast suckers.’
But, until the governor gives attention to those who tell him the bitter truth, our state would remain in Lodiba pour toujours.
I have been following the political ililo going on in the state and have come to a conclusion that we have truly boarded a ‘one-chance’ bus.
A friend of mine recently penned a thought-provoking article; detailing how the state government was trying to play enaibobo with the $24 million (about N10 billion) the Federal Government refunded to the state as part of the Paris Club debt write-off, but the reply he got from one of the governor’s armies was that he should focus on his field (medicine) and stop wasting his young energy on political issues. Omeifa! Apology to my big brother in old Gold Coast.
Thank God, my ‘docrnalist’ as I fondly call him gave it back to him – word for word – grammar for grammar. Eje gb’eje!
It is only in my state that a state government would come on Facebook to announce that it has paid one month salary out of 10 months it owes civil servants.
It is only in my dear state that a state government would proudly come on Facebook to announce that it is commissioning a signpost as part of his achievement.
It is only in my land that you would see sycophants singing the soured songs of the Syrians soldiers on how a governor is commissioning an existing website. Call it Facebook governance and you are right on track.
When our dear governor dared Governor Nyesom Wike of Rivers State, he was served a chilled pepper soup. A meal he is still enjoying till this moment.
Facebook nearly crashed after Wike’s iconic meal. He recruited more soldiers on Facebook who clampdown on Wike, issuing several statements to counter his assertion. Truth they say is always bitter. Ntoooor! E pain am!
Our dear Apostle should understand that my grand mother somewhere in Itabono does not have a Facebook account and cannot have the opportunity of seeing his copious ‘Facebook achievements’.
I was shocked to my sinews yesterday when observers faulted the organizers of an award for giving out naked woman as plaque(s) to awardees at a just concluded award ceremony in the state.
The award ceremony was endorsed by the state government. The visibly bewildered observers wondered why the governor, who doubles as the preacher of ‘god’ gave his nod for such eyesore as the true image of the state woman.
Trust the FBS, they have 101 reasons to defend their action.
They invaded Facebook pages and groups; firing critics right, left and centre for ‘politicising’ the award.
Hear them:  “The common symbol of Justice all over the world is the beautiful shape of a blindfolded woman with the best of shape and curves, created by God, globally accepted by all nations of the world, including Nigeria.”
Trust my ‘busy-body.’ After reading the above statement, I quickly dashed to my Google to search for the said ‘symbol of Justice’ and I was shocked to see a well-dressed woman in ‘za oza room’ (apology to Baba).
I juxtaposed the two pictures and I saw big differences (check below picture).
The earlier he realizes that the state belongs to everybody, the better for him.
BTW, I am going in search of my missing Christmas duck. I will continue next week.
Ohunu ere, Oheche prokonu nye.
In trust, we God.

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